Hi again. Here's (hopefully) an attempt to get up to date. I've got a new thing I've started doing each morning. Whereas before I'd time getting up each morning for work to the minute, 8:05, to incorporate; shower, dress, eat, brush teeth and run to the bus stop with a target arrival time at the office of 8:58, I've now decided to used my inability to sleep as a positive.The day now goes; wake up 5:30 or 6:00. Snooze or read for a bit, and then get up around 7:00. Have a shower, then turn on the stereo, preferably to indie, metal or something else that needs to be played loud. Adjust the volume accordingly. It's important to get the balance right between "Nightclub vibe", and "Blowing speaker". I then dance around in my pants/dressing gown for a bit eating breakfast and having a coffee. Then it's get dressed, followed by a fag. Another coffee, check my mail and then stroll to the bus stop with the intention of arriving at work 20 - 30 minutes early so I can break into the day gently.
This seems a ridiculous thing to be sharing but it demonstrates a real change of attitude for me. I don't skulk into the office anymore, and try to hide. I'm welcoming each day at full volume and I'm not hiding from anyone or anything. Why should I? I know my problems and I'm facing them. If, god forbid, I fuck up again I'll have to face it. I don't want to hide. I've got too much living to catch up on.
Anyway, back to last Monday. Work was great. Everyone was great. I felt intelligent before 10:00am, and not worried that my breath would stink of beer/wine/rum so I've also saved on mint expenditure. It's a win all round! I was also able to get the coffees in without the fear of someone seeing my hands shaking. The day passed pretty quickly and I generally enjoyed it. No hangover, or counting down to 5 so I could go to the pub. All good! My mate came over in the evening and I cooked him dinner, then we went for a walk up the hill before watching the sun go down from the pub garden. I love elderflower cordial!
The working week has pretty much been the same all the way through with a few extra's in the evening. Tuesday was great. The couple who got married ("Artie" and "Lottie"), a friend who was over from Australia for the wedding ("Bruce") and myself went to the pub we first started drinking in for dinner. It's so cool spending time with these guys. I was driving so on the soft drinks, as was Lottie. The boys hit the lager/cider. Apparently it was a last chance for Bruce to get a decent beer before his next trip to the UK in a years time. The food was good, the company great, and we reminisced over a few stories from years gone by. I did notice that almost all of them involved booze, and the vast majority involved too much booze, so it was a wierd one to look back on. Last orders was called and I see the two guys nursing an inch of beer each and looking sheepish. "For fuck's sake just go to the bar and get a pint. You're depressing me!!". I dropped them off and found my resolution from Sunday strengthened. I need to stop being such a dick and visit my friends more. Obviously Bruce in Oz isn't having me turn up on his doorstep anytime soon, but the ones who live an hour or an 90 minutes away are going to see a lot more of me.
The main alcohol recovery point of the week was on Wednesday. I had my first blood test that morning and the Dr is calling with my results on Thursday, so I'll post them then. I think this routine is going to continue on a fortnightly cycle for the forseeable future so I'll keep posting them so you can follow my progress.
Lenny cancelled me Wednesday and Thursday and I was going out with some guys from work on Friday. I think Lenny has an idea why I want to talk to him, and he's scared of another lecture. Bizarely it'll be the first from me. You have to help yourself before you can be helped by others. More on this next time.
Ah, Friday. We had a chilli eating competition at work as part of "National Stereotypes Day". Our team were Mexico. I came joint first, but sadly that exaulted position was shared by 6 of the 10 entrants. They ran out of chillies. Shame - I was on fire!
Pub crawls are not designed for the non-drinker. Frankly I don't want to neck a pint of lemonade every 30 minutes. It's just annoying. Worse still, you still have to buy a round. A lemonade an hour is good enough for me and I can't see the point of leaving a perfectly comfortable pub to go to one where you may not get a seat. I had similar views when I was drinking, but my main objection was drinking at the pace of the majority and not my own, so I'd often double up. As previously mention, it's at the 4/5 pint point that people get annoying. The Olympic Opening Ceremony provides plenty of scope for casual racism, and that's one thing I can't abide. Heres why.
Before I moved (so about 7) I was put up a year at school. Racism had never occured to me, but this was where the most shameful (sober) episode of my life took place. One lunchtime the boys I was friends with decided to have a go at an asian kid. I remember his name to this day. Prakesh Patel. "Prakesh, is a shit, Prakesh is a shit" and repeat. I didn't join in. I knew it was wrong, but didn't understand why. I was worse than them. I did nothing. Nothing at all. Too scared to stand up to my friends. I got bollocked big style by the Deputy Head but I still didn't get it. I saw Prakesh on the way out of school and ran over to him. "Don't worry, you didn't do anything", he said. "Anyway, I'm used to it". He shook my hand and walked away with his head held high. "I'm used to it", aged fucking seven? I really hope he's having a great life. I've never known such mature humility in someone so young. I remember him every time I hear some twat mouthing off and I feel shame, and anger.
Anyway, every time a choir or crowd shot included a black or asian person one of these guys would pipe up with "Oooh, theres one". It got worse when all the nations athletes walked in. Maybe they thought that's what lads do on a night out. Two of us were really uncomfortable with this. They certainly didn't seem to register our complaints, discomfort or embarrassment. If they did, the chose to do fuck all about it. The "Highlight", of the evening, aside from the racism, was the lad who responded to the barmaid's question "It's time in two minutes. Would you like anything else?". I'm assuming you can fill in the answer yourself....
So, top tip. If going out with people who are drinking that you don't know that well, always frisk them thoroughly for Klan hats and check if their knuckles are scraping on the floor at the start of the evening. It saves a lot of embarrassment later on.
Laters
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