Quitting the booze - Hell is other people

Still with me? Cool.

So, you've accepted your problem and decided to quit. Well done. Big first step made. Here's the problems I found, and maybe you will to. Having booze in the house isn't an issue for me. When I was drinking this is the place I'd finish off the night, not start it, but as my problem is an inablility to stop I'm good as long as I don't start. Also, I really don't fucking want it. You can empty your house of wine, beer, liquor - vinegar even, but if you want a drink the chances are there's a supermarket, a 24/7 or an all night garage within walking distance of where you live. If you haven't been drinking then you can drive and let's face it, most people now live within a 10 minute drive of a booze supplier. If you want to, you will. End of. But we don't want to drink any more, so it's not an issue.

A big issue is time; It moves more slowly when you aren't with Allie. She's a treacherous using bitch, but at least she knew how to kill the hours of a day. This is not neccessarily a good thing. Add to this the sleep problems and you suddenly have a lot of time on your hands. Fill it with something that's for you. Use your booze money to cook great meals. Write a book, start a blog (feel free to link to this one and I'll do the same for you. We can start a community). Read a book. Take up jogging. Sign up to that OU course that you always wanted to do. Go for walks. See friends who live a little bit too far away to get to using public transport. Start volunteering for a charity. Just do something. You're taking your life back - fill it with things that are worthwhile.

Cool. So that's us sorted, yeah? Awesome. We don't need that shit anymore and I hope we're all pretty happy in ourselves about the choices and the progress that we've made. I know I am. It is a bit weird skipping the booze aisle in Tesco's at first, but in a good way. Apparently I shake my head and give a whistful smile when I walk past it, remembering who Allie made me become. Now we come to the hard bit.

OTHER PEOPLE!!!!!

They don't know man - they weren't there! Hopefully you've told your close friends and family what's going on with your life at the minute, so you drinking soft drinks when you're out won't be a surprise. Their reaction can be a bit cringeworthy though. The first time I quit I met a load of my mates in a pub after work to have a chat about what was happening and why, and they all ordered coke. I bet most of them can't even remember the last time they ordered a soft drink in a pub. Fucking hilarious. I really appreciated the sentiment but did they honestly think that the sight of someone drinking a pint would make me vault the bar and start smashing back the sambuca? Could they really believe that I'd spend the next 50 years of my life (fingers crossed) and expect to never see anyone with an alcoholic drink again? You have to give them all 10/10 for effort and I was overwhelmed by the support but I know deep down that as soon as they all left that place they were all thinking "Fuck me, that was hell. I'm going for a pint!!!". Love 'em. Next time I saw them out I made a point of buying a round. If I can buy it and carry it back from the bar and still not go mental I think you're pretty safe to drink it in front of me. This is my problem

The only time your friends get annoying is when they cross that "Happy place line". You either get pissed up hugs, with "I love you man. You're doing so well. I'm so proud of you. To be honest, I didn't think you could fucking do this!!". Cheers big man - you know who you are! Even then it does make you feel good. A kind sentiment, even if the delivery was abysmal. Then you've got Lenny, of course. It's bad enough to view when you're drunk too, but seeing it through the eyes of stone cold sobriety makes you wonder what the hell you were like. I might film him one night, just so he can see for himself.

To be honest I quite like driving to town at a weekend. I've got the freedom to go as early or as late as I want, although I normally choose the late option. No cab fees and you generally get a few soft drinks bought for you in exchange for a lift home. I can have just as good a time. The only time you feel left out is the shots. It's not the booze - it's the fact that all the other 7 or 8 people have a clink and you don't. It's strange how that still effects me. For that moment I become alone again. An outsider, just viewing from the periphery. They ought to do non-alcoholic shooters. Just aniseed cordial or something. You still get the clink of togetherness and the evil taste, but just no alcohol. I may suggest this!

Casual aquaintances are a bigger problem. The bloke you talk to in the pub watching cricket, the person you talk to about fishing. Your work mate who has always only ever seen you out on the lash at team do's. How do you explain the drink with straws and umbrellas. None of your options are particularly appealing.

1. I'm in training/on a diet. By the time the half marathon that you said you were entering comes round they'll have forgotten about it and just be used to the soft drinks.
2. Tell the truth a) I know we agreed at the start "no more lies", but let's not push it! Most people see an alcoholic as all the stereotypes in the press. "Bottle of whisky before he goes to work", "Baileys on the Rice Crispies", "Takes a hip flask to keep him going when he popped  out to buy a paper", etc. They will also regale you with tales of a "Proper alcoholic", that they once knew, as if belittling your problems. This does nothing for how well you feel you are doing. Fitting into peoples view of a "Proper alcoholic" generally means three bottles of whisky a day, living in your own shit and being dead by 40. No one needs to be told that they don't have a "Real" problem when they know they do. They just don't fucking get it, so let's not take this route. Far too much hassle, and people like to stick you in a box. "That's R***. He's an alcoholic you know". "We'll I never! He's got a job and wears a suit and everything. Goes to show you never can tell though". "Well, I always thought there was something a bit odd about him!". Ironically the more pissed they get, the more likely they are to talk. The worlds quite a funny place, when you think about.
3. Tell the truth b) "I'm taking a break for a bit. I just don't feel like drinking at the moment". The fact that our definition of "A bit", is hopefully the rest of our natural lives is beside the point. It'll be old news in a few weeks anyway.
4. Lie - say you are on medication. You probably will be at the start, so only a little lie.

You will soon get used to people telling you that " I couldn't do what you're doing. I couldn't go to pub and not drink". Think on this. At least we've accepted something that a lot of others struggle with. Maybe it's more common than we thought at the start.  

Finally, just enjoy it. Seeing the world sober again may be a strange experience for you at the start, but it's not that scary. Just sit back and enjoy the caberet.

Take care, and I'll be back soon.