Hola!
Having got over the weekends sleep depravation I'm now back into the swing of it all. Was a teensy bit grumpy Monday but that has passed. I've spent the week doing very little. Up at 6:30, with a fairly casual work preparation regime. It's pleasant not having to rush, especially as we still have some vestige of summer left, and I still get in early
Right now I'm loving going to work. My head is clear again, the depressants/depression has left me and I'm almost at 100% again. I'm aware that I don't get much happier than this, on a personal level. I'd like to have someone to share it with but that's another story.
I hate having to admit this but baby sister is right. "You've got enough on as it is at the moment without getting messed up over another girl". Bitch! I love her because she's always right, and she doesn't want me to get hurt. Actually she's probably more worried about the next girl whose life I bring misery too. She always got on with my exes..... It's odd that she's been the adult in our sibling relationship since she was 17 and I was 21.
I mentioned before that I go a bit bi-polar at first when I quit drinking. Hopefully I've actually passed through that and I am really this happy. I know for a fact that I'm back on form as I'm annoying people with how happy and positive I am at work. It's also the comments that I get away with. Bear in mind that I've known a lot of these people for over a decade so I do have a bit of a license to sail close to the wind. A comment such as "Loving the hair!! The festival look is really in at the moment", may cause offence from a lot of people but they seem to realise that I can't resist a little jab with a compliment and we laugh before they critcise my ironing and then we actually talk properly. It's flirting with being rude, and it's also flirting with flirting but we all know the game. I walk around the office and smile at everyone, and they smile back. I don't know if they're happy that I'm happy or whether I make them feel good. Hopefully a bit of both.
I volunteered to devise and deliver a couple of training programs and I'm loving that too. It's the chance to imprint my view of how things work on the world, and then share it with others. It's all factual too - I don't just make shit up but I've found that training is often either too vague or overcomplicated. The best bit is delivering it. I get to go off road if people want to and it always seems to turn into a chat about the subject, not a lecture. So far everyone seems to enjoy it, so I'm doing something right. I think I just love people. I've also been told that I love the sound of my own voice, but I can't see that. They were ALL wrong about that! Every single one of them. Jealous bastards!
Lost at cards in the pub Tuesday. I had a night of shit cards, or second best cards. I'd rather have shit ones as second best gets expensive! £10 buy in so at least I didn't lose the car. I ordered a "London Pride" as my first drink. Then the bar manager and I remonstrated with the poor girl who went to pour it. "What do you think you're doing? I don't drink!" and "He barred himself, remember?". I bought her a drink to say sorry. I'm actually quite loving the grapefruit juice and lemondade at the minute. May get tricky in winter. A man can only drink so much coffee....
Last night I was asked round Lenny's for £1 poker with Bob. I had to turn it down. I'm too angry and upset with him right now, and I know I have another night of babysitting coming up on Saturday at Eric and Crystal's wedding (I wish I actually did know a couple called Eric and Ruby - their actual names are nowhere near as fun). Bob told me tonight just to cut Lenny loose and let him look after himself but I really can't. Apparently "he wasn't that drunk" at cards. Mare. Maybe next post I'll just try to work out what our relationship is.
Anyway, tonight Bob and I helped my old man (the Silver Fox) dig up a tree stump in the garden. Scratch that. Dad and I helped Bob dig up a tree stump in the garden. It was a bit like that scene in Shane. "Sody-Pops", and flailing axes. It took over two hours and in the end the torch was unleashed but we got it out. It's nice to do something manual, and we got a real sense of achievement. Wouldn't have got that from the pub. The Silver Fox paid Bob in french beer. The Fox only drinks ale and I don't want a crate right now so he was going to get it anyway, but I like to think that he prefered to work for it. I am a bad friend....(evil laugh). To be fair he enjoys hitting things with sledge hammers and axes so it wasn't that mean.
This brings me on to another point. The "Come on mate, give us a hand. I'll buy you a pint", persuasion tactic. Is the beer or the social contract the most important part of this? "Come on mate, give us a hand. I'll buy you a grapefruit and lemonade. I'll even get them to put an umbrella in it", just doesn't seem to cut it somehow. Odd. It's amazing how ingrained alcohol is in our society. Even watching a police drama the inspector goes to the pub about four times a day..... Booze is everywhere. I can't complain because I did my best to reduce it's availability for almost two decades. I always ran out of money or time before the pub ran out of beer. Strange.
Righty-ho (I have never said that before in my life - but I've typed it now so it stays in)
Off to bed.
Catch you all tomorrow
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