Ok, here goes.
Me not writing is a bad sign and I haven't posted in months. It all went wrong before Christmas. I've been trying to stop again for the last month but it all went to shit this weekend. I've fallen down, and fallen hard.
Once again the emptiness of the stark reality of my situation has hit me. I am in severe danger of drinking myself to an early grave and frankly I am fucking terrified. I'm just crying. I can't control this shit and I am in a lot of trouble. I've talked before about my issues and problems dating Ali before but right now it's all fresh and the pain is new again.
I don't want to be this source of worry and pain to people I love. They deserve so much more than this. I'm waiting for a call back from the Dr now. God knows what she'll say.
Don't drink, probably.
Sad times.
Take care,
Rich
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