Lenny

Hi!

In spirit with my attempts to separate good event's from negative I've put this one as an entry of it's own. For most people at the wedding it was a dark and tragic sub-plot that we managed to keep from Eric and Crystal as much as possible. I'm really struggling to keep trying to help the guy. He throws every attempt back in my face and clearly doesn't think I have anything worth saying. He also obviously doesn't give a fuck how I feel because he hurts me everytime I see him.

Let's flash back to the previous post. I picked up Lenny just before 1pm, and he was happy, bright and looking forward to the day. Fingers crossed nothing goes wrong. I should have crossed my toes as well....

To put this into a context let's look at what's happened since March. I'd feel like a hypocrite if I comment on previous actions as I wasn't an angel either. Mind you, even when I was having problems I thought he was a mess.

Three birthday's out in March/April. On the first two he displayed his standard incoherent drunkeness which was complimented beautifully by the predatory moves around nightclubs trying to pull any woman present. This usually involves several laps of the club so he get's two or three attempts at each lady. When people are looking at you with disgust because you're his friend it's not fun. People were leaving the club to get away. He was being pushed aside and told to stay away from groups of girls as he was ruining their night. Essentially a sex pest. He also fell over a few times, and argued with me when I tried to take him home. In the end I just left him in town. I felt bad, but I was new at the not drinking and didn't really need that shit. I gave him an hour but when he started screaming at me after I suggested that going to another club was a bad idea I'd had enough....

He was cancelled for birthday number three...... I'm sure he learnt from this exclusion.

Next time we went out he was smashed again. I've been trying to put my finger on why this is. Does he drink before he comes out? Does he not eat? Maybe he get's extra drinks or sneaks shots at the bar. I know all the tricks from bitter experience. Maybe he just can't hold it and doesn't know his limits. It can't be fun staggering around on your own with that look on your face. This look is hard to describe. It's a bit sad, and confused as well as frustrated and self hating. You can almost hear him saying to himself after yet another failed attempt at social interaction "Well, you fucked that one up again, you idiot. When will you ever get it right?? Why I outta...". I always imagine his inner monologue sounds like a Marx Brothers sketch.

Long story short. Hammered, starting the moves when he meets a middle aged couple at the bar. He's left with them in 20 mins. Apparently the deal is that this guy just like watching people screw his wife. I can't judge what people are into but I'm fairly confident that a sober Lenny would have thought this to be a bad idea.

You heard about the last wedding - drunk, staggering and generally same old, same old, same old.

Stag do the same. Lashed by eight pm, falling asleep in his dinner and then spent two and a half hours trying to get into a pub, not a youth hostel. As you can imagine I was not looking forward to what the night may bring. I hate to say it but it's now a joke. The question isn't "Will Lenny get pissed and do something stupid?". It's now "When will Lenny get pissed and do something stupid?".

This time it took until the end of the speeches. The table was dry of wine and not many people had drunk any. He was staggering by 7.30, and barely coherent. Our mate cut him off from the booze, and stuck him on water. You can still minesweep tables for glasses of wine. An accidental pint of cider ordered was downed in one. He really doesn't help himself at times.I don't want to go into details because it's really embarrassing. Crying, arguing, falling over, inappropriate behavior towards women, denial, vomitting and a couple of scuffles ensued before he was finally spooned into a cab. For once it wasn't just me dealing with it, as everyone took a shift. Finally they realise what's being going on.

Now it looks like he's cancelled from all social engagements for the forseable future. He makes me so angry. He won't listen. He can't see that he may have a problem. Apparently he thinks that just because I'm an alcoholic I need to brand him one too as some kind of cathartic exercise. He won't even get his bloods checked in case he's damaging himself. Now he isn't answering his phone. I've called round his house a few times in the last couple of days. If he's not at work tomorrow I'll have to call him mum. You know had bad it has to be before you call someones mum. Not ideal!

I'm not giving up on him, but I am giving up hope that I'll be able to help him. I found out the hard way. You have to accept there's a problem and you have to help yourself.

Sad times. I hope I didn't hurt people as much as this is hurting me. If I did I'm amazed they still talk to me.

Laters,

R***